Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
