Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
