i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
