In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
