this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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