I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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