batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
