Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
