Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As shirtless as possible
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize