He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
