I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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