I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize