Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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