Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
