the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
