Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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