One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
