sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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