wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
