You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize