I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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