i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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