yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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