I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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