Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
