Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize