The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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