Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
