i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
