There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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