That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
