Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
