he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
