he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Green mimosas i think yes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
