how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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