I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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