3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
