Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
