so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
