girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize