that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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