At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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