sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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