trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
