My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
