Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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