Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
