It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
