your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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