no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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