i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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