Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
