We need to rekindle our bromance
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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