were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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