She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
