i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
