Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
pray to the hookup gods
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
