I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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