I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
