Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
