Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
