Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
