i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize