oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
