If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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