Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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