I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
