Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
