She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
